I am a mother in my mid-twenties. I have a wonderful 2 year old daughter who has made my life both blissful as well as scattered. My husband is very supportive and always has been, but our relationship is far from perfect. We fight everyday to keep moving our lives forward together, it’s not always easy. Together we are still fighting the flaws of our pasts, but we have each other and that’s all we can ask for.

My family was very unconventional. My father was an addict and my mother was extremely devoted to him. I saw my mom struggle, cry most nights, and beg my father to show an ounce of change. My only wish was that she showed the same devotion to her children. Being a mother now, I still don’t understand how she felt in that time and why she made the decisions she made. I fear I may never understand.

I have three siblings. At times, they helped me through some of my darkest times and other times they contributed to those same thoughts. I’ve had a complicating relationship ship with my all of my siblings, I’m only beginning to unsurfaced the depth of those relationships. They are much better now, but it hasn’t always been that way.

My family usually still hold things against me. I was an angry kid, which is pretty understandable. They still joke to this day how difficult i was to even talk to. They have yet to realize they contributed to all of those emotional and difficult times. They may never realize that and I’ve had to come to terms with that. But it still hurts when they joke about my heartaches, especially in front of my husband and child.

I’m here to turn it all around. I need to turn it all around. For my husband, for my daughter, and for myself.